I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we're so committed to being not committed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize