I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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