You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
