finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
