well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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