he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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