What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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