I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Boobs speak an international language.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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