i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
