I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
