Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
