Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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