that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
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