I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
