they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
