Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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