Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
