I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i think i just lost a toe
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
