i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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