I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
