This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
