apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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