Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
