idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
