So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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