I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
