She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
