I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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