we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
