When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
