found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
