She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
