You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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