I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Randomize
