I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
