Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We talked him into tasing himself.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize