Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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