Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
