took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize