Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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