It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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