honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
