I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
