I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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