I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
