I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
