I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
