Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
