Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize