I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
