If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
