what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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