ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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