You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize