He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
