i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
