I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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