READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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