Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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