sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
