the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
