WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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