And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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