it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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