So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
