Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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