haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
