paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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