my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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