I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
