mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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