So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
