I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
