butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
