Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
