Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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