elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
