It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
