If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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