I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
