I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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